i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
