Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
