if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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