There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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