hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
