eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
