whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
