If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
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Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
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I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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