Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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