brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
