"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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