Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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