I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
