And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize