You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize