I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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