I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
