Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize