My hand turned me down
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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