I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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