I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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