does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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