Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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