i just had sex bonerless
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
