dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
