i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
