All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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