My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize