You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
