is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I need water and some morals
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
