The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
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This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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