He is an equal opportunity slut.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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