its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
