dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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