I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
