No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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