She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
