Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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