i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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