Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
