Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
