you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
As shirtless as possible
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
