i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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