my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
