Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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