ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize