the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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