I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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