Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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