Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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