Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
