Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
