Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
