The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
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so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
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The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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