How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
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I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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