I'm drive I can fine osifer
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
