i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
