It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
