i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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