yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
