Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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