You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
