I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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