Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
