does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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