This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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